Mind Your Manners by Barry Owens Lunch had just been served in a private penthouse dining room in the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Battery Park City and hostess Judith Ré draped a cloth napkin across her lap and considered her guests. There were six in all, ranging in age from 7 to 12. They had come for a lesson in etiquette, and maneuvering through a three-course meal would be the morning's final lesson. "Ladies and gentleman, this is the sport of eating. And in the sport of eating, we bring the food all the way to our mouths," Ré said. She carved, in the European style, a bit of lamb from her plate, brought the fork to her mouth and stopped. "I see elbows on the table," she said. "And Matthew, we wouldn't want to put that big a piece of meat in our mouth. Make a smaller cut, honey." "Miss Judith," as she encourages the little "ladies and gentleman" in her etiquette classes to call her, has taught her trademark "social savvy" course in hotels across the country for 18 years. The quick, four hour version of the class (more complete courses can stretch over two days) offers the basics in the proper handling of napkin, knife and fork, telephone etiquette and the importance of a prompt and positive thank you letter. "Even if you don't like the gift," she reminded the students. And on the morning of Nov. 13, the course began with a lesson in introductions. "Pleasure to meet you," offered Caroline Wong. A confident shake, but the shy 11-year-old Battery Park City girl, who had come with her brother Charles, 12, cut it short, giggled and looked away. "Remember, eye contact, dear," said Ré. Negotiating a telephone conversation and taking an effective message were other lessons. "Hello, this is the Wong residence," Charles answered in a mock call from fellow student Dana Berger. He listened as 9-year-old Dana asked to speak to his mother. "OK, hold on a second," he shot back. "Charles, let's try 'One moment, please,'" suggested Ré. But it was the lesson over lunch that was fraught with the most potential faux pas. "The stem of the fork should rest between the four and five…" she was explaining, when once again, young Matthew Mortillo from Chelsea gave her pause. "Oh, get that bean all the way in your mouth, honey," she said. By the time dessert was served, however, Matthew seemed to have a handle on both the American and European styles of dining (either is acceptable, but the styles should not be mixed, Ré instructed) and the class had learned how to "blot and not wipe" their mouths with a napkin and why glassware should always rest on one's right-hand side. "Even if it's plastic?" asked Charles. "Even plastic," answered Ré. When the dessert dishes were cleared, Ré thanked the "ladies and gentlemen" for coming and asked what they had thought of the class. "I thought it would be a whole lot more boring," confessed Matthew. "But this was fun." The response was both polite and genuine. In the lobby, the 8-year-old asked his father if he could stay for the afternoon class. "No," his father said gently. "I think it's time to practice at home."